Bleep... Ten C's

Im no Saint. Neither a fool-proof sinner. Just an ordinary soul who believes in the Ten Commandments to a convenient extent. But life these days has been  like a question paper ... more like a rapid fire session where I've to pick my choices or loose.

Of all the tenets in the Ten Commandments, I often failed to understand why it was said never to use Thy Lord's name in Vain... It has perplexed me all my 36 years on this planet. Starting of as a Hindu and then being reborn to embrace Christianity, Ive taken the Lord's name whenever I was in trouble, when I was happy, when I was disturbed, when I couldn't see through the dark, when I lost my way home and found it too, when I wanted to thank someone, when somebody thanked me... That was one name that found a place in my heart and on my lips as easily as the breath that keeps me live... Yes, HE was never empty to me. Yes, it was not in vain...

Not so recently I reaffirmed my belief in the fact that The Lord is a very sincere power up there that is looked upon by everyone as the definite source of infintism. He is transcendent, the eternal, the continuously present, the ever generous....Hey but HE is up in the sky... At office and home, we have such sources of infinite powers too. Not totally Gods, but semi seats of power and authority.

Ten Commandments

Translating the tenets to the more palpable home and office scenarios, let's just take a count of how many times we use the Boss's name as a sponge, shield or weapon. The very use of their names at the wrong times and the right ones, could open shut doors wider, can finish projects in no time and even create a rainfall in winter... Let's quit exaggerating.. But its true my friends, using the Boss's name or anybody else's name to hasten things up or to save face is a rude rude strategy to meet targets... There are million other ways to do it. And the best one I feel, is by being honest about our need.

I was hurt that a dear friend of mine outwitted me recently with this crude strategy. I love him no less. But it has brought me closer to my belief, Thou shalt not take the name of  The Lord, thy God in vain.

Thanks dear Moses for the Ten Commandments. Especially this third one!

Why is it piercing me?

I wanted to get out of office today as soon as  I got in. Something about last night was just not right. Don't ask me what, and it has nothing to do with what you think either!

My head was all tipsy as I was not myself all through the night. There was this loneliness suddenly creeping in. As if I seemed no where. I held on to my two angels sleeping comfortably on either sides... The ac was cool at 16 degrees and yes Sony was happily snoring, oblivious to the world war going on inside my skull! I almost felt a bullet pass right through... not one but many.

Eyes soggy from sleep, I opted for a cold shower to chill the brain this morning. The shower gel failed to inspire and the towel seemed used. No, Im not complaining about the moisturiser. It never felt more sticky! My golden yellow salwaar suit for the day couldn't brighten my spirits either... When the heart lacks lustre, I guess we turn colour blind and everything seems as boring as the morning you hate to go to work.

The clock just wasn't ticking any faster than 60 sec per minute. And I didnt like the regular calls that usually brightened my soul. I couldn't rest my finger on any one reason and say this is why Im angry at myself. I had many reasons. By five, it was Bye! An end to a horrible day in office, where I hardly spoke to anyone, completed every task mechanically and sulked around in my chair waiting for Sony to call.

My head was weary beyond definition and even Anna's sweet hello seemed a yell to me... But we had to pierce her ears today and we had an appointment at the doctor. When the door closed behind as they took her away from me, I sat alone again. Sony and Ria were definitely near me. But I felt absolutely abandoned.

Anna screached with pain. It was for the first ear. Trembling from head to toe, I couldnt complete my prayer. I just sprang up from the chair and stood stupidly trembling in front of the nursing cabin. I wanted to break the door open and get Anna back. And there she shouted for the second time not totally relieved of the first one, and that was it. Both her ears were pierced and she had sweet pearl ear studs on too... tears damped her soft cheeks.

My head stopped aching... It was overwhelmed with my Anna's pain. When I hugged her and she rested her head on my heart, there was a soothing balm that wiped off both our pains. The same relief I had when she came into the world after I laboured her out.

She looks sweet with her new earrings. But the pain is still piercing me.