Ra Ra 10...

My sunflowers Ria and Jia

Nope ive not seen Ra.One.  But i liked the expression when Ri shouted hey Ra Ra.10! Reminding me at once of Ra Ra Rasputin and Sharukh's latest international sci-fi RaOne.  Now that's not a bad exclamation at all! I must say quite creative!

Ri turned 10 on March 10. I had promised her many things to her choice once she crossed that milestone. For instance frying eggs on the stove, making tea and coffee and so forth... Of course she had the freedom to assist me in the processes involved in these great activities all along. But only in mixing the ingredients or fetching spoons and cups.

Freedom to cook on the fire blazing underneath requires quite a sense of responsibility, as my Amma says. And I guess I had to prepare Ria for that before I actually let her light the stove and actually cook. (Amma, I love you for those beautiful lessons.) I remember rolling the laddoos while she dipped them in the bubbling oil in the huge frying bowl! Mouth watering memories...

Ria is yet to make her official omellete all by herself... Right from buying the eggs and vegetables, tendering the right change at the grocers, bringing home the eggs without breaking them, placing the eggs and vegetables in their respective trays in the refrigerator, planning for the meal, cracking the eggs, slicing in the chillies and tomatoes, lighting the stove and frying it on the pan in butter or ghee (a choice she has to make), toppling it without breaking it, sprinkling corriander leaves on it, rolling it into a fine roll and placing it in the plate with the same spatula, slicing it into neat mouthable pieces and finally the salt and pepper! (Wish we had hens at home to train her how to fetch the eggs every morning like how we did in our village)

Now do we really have to do all this for an omellete? Well how else can one explain the essence of enjoying what we do? How else does one explain the beauty of the food that warms our appetite? And we women develop our multi-tasking skills basically from the kitchen. From the fire that we light each morning for the day's meal to the dishes we wash, wipe and set aside, there are ever so many opportunities to write pages on the health, safety and environmental concerns plus the organising skills that we should be aware of... Phew... im on fire!

And you know what Ri loves? One touch cooking... Microwaves! Not surprising at all given the fact that I do only half the kind of cooking my mother used to!

Ra Ra 10.... Many happy returns to my Ria and let me grab some for myself too for the exciting ten years of motherhood! I loved every day of it. Only wish time went a wee bit slower....

Bookworm and kids...



Sony, Ri and Ji at DC Books, Abad Nucleus on a beautiful Sunday in January 2011.

Sony, my dearest, loves his books more than me.... Grrrr.... After Nescafe with lots of sugar and no milk, rice and sambhar; omelette and pazhampori, the next best thing he lives for is his books... I guess I should list them in the reverse order of importance.

His library is the sanctum sanctorum in our house. Not that we cannot enter without cleansing ourselves (though having clean hands is a must to qualify to touch any of his books), somehow his books just can’t lie!

Yup, they betray our every attempt to flick a book or two. Call it the seventh sense, he knows exactly what was where; and Ri and I try and wipe off every trace of doubt that we were there. It’s not that we fear treading into his domain; it’s just that we can’t figure out how he can sense we did. I wish he could sense the same with his personal accessories!

I envy the sparkle of his shelves, the neat rows of books all wrapped in the same kind of paper. None of them named, but he knows exactly what books they are. It has intrigued me how he does it. How he codes and decodes it. Probably it sinks into the psyche when one is so passionate about teaching. He says I can bequeath my gold to my girls and he will bequeath his treasure to his princesses... Hmm... wonder which weighs more!

On our recent visit to Abad Nucleus, a new mall that’s quite the talk of the town, he waited patiently while I surfed through the neatly folded kurtas at my favourite designer outlet, FabIndia. An hour to us, Ria and I were mighty pleased. I picked my favourite colours and tried them on comfortably with Ri and Ji shooting comments in the three-side mirrored trial room. Ji was interested in her reflection, not one or two, but six at once. Funny faces and loud laughter filled the tiny cubicle and Ria had to control ji and be the clothes stand at the same time... Quite a responsibility indeed!

Once we were out, we hit straight for DC books. A splendid outlet indeed after the spacious one DC has near Ernakulam YMCA. I thought I would have my train of followers as I did at FabIndia. But lady luck was with Sony. Ria and Jia were as serious as grown-ups searching for books. They followed him first to the kids counter and then his zone. It was pin drop silence and mind you no one asked for it. A bored me, I was left with just myself and my cell-phone. And yes, i did what i always love to do if im not shopping.... click click click! At-least I could get my book-worm and kids in the same frame.

Touchwood! They sure look as colourful as the bright books on the never ending rows of books. Honestly, I never knew book shops are meant for bonding. Now I do!

Why is it piercing me?

I wanted to get out of office today as soon as  I got in. Something about last night was just not right. Don't ask me what, and it has nothing to do with what you think either!

My head was all tipsy as I was not myself all through the night. There was this loneliness suddenly creeping in. As if I seemed no where. I held on to my two angels sleeping comfortably on either sides... The ac was cool at 16 degrees and yes Sony was happily snoring, oblivious to the world war going on inside my skull! I almost felt a bullet pass right through... not one but many.

Eyes soggy from sleep, I opted for a cold shower to chill the brain this morning. The shower gel failed to inspire and the towel seemed used. No, Im not complaining about the moisturiser. It never felt more sticky! My golden yellow salwaar suit for the day couldn't brighten my spirits either... When the heart lacks lustre, I guess we turn colour blind and everything seems as boring as the morning you hate to go to work.

The clock just wasn't ticking any faster than 60 sec per minute. And I didnt like the regular calls that usually brightened my soul. I couldn't rest my finger on any one reason and say this is why Im angry at myself. I had many reasons. By five, it was Bye! An end to a horrible day in office, where I hardly spoke to anyone, completed every task mechanically and sulked around in my chair waiting for Sony to call.

My head was weary beyond definition and even Anna's sweet hello seemed a yell to me... But we had to pierce her ears today and we had an appointment at the doctor. When the door closed behind as they took her away from me, I sat alone again. Sony and Ria were definitely near me. But I felt absolutely abandoned.

Anna screached with pain. It was for the first ear. Trembling from head to toe, I couldnt complete my prayer. I just sprang up from the chair and stood stupidly trembling in front of the nursing cabin. I wanted to break the door open and get Anna back. And there she shouted for the second time not totally relieved of the first one, and that was it. Both her ears were pierced and she had sweet pearl ear studs on too... tears damped her soft cheeks.

My head stopped aching... It was overwhelmed with my Anna's pain. When I hugged her and she rested her head on my heart, there was a soothing balm that wiped off both our pains. The same relief I had when she came into the world after I laboured her out.

She looks sweet with her new earrings. But the pain is still piercing me.

Thirty chicks

Anna turned two yesterday. Well it hardly mattered at all to her. To us, the big three, it was different. So, Ri and me... each of us wanted to celebrate in our own way...

Ri took some chocolate wafers for her pals... Sony was smart enough to get the date ladoos from the world's best bakery, Jayabarathi Bakery in Thalasserry and I took my favourite Lebanese sweets which Amma sent us exclusively from Bahrain. To share with very close pals...

Anna hardly ate any of those stuff. But she liked her new musical toys ... a Barbie doll dressed like Paris Hilton singing in the most hilarious male voice 'meri shaadi karaade'! A green swing and a funny cow with hooplahs! She was also happy about the colourful dresses and the clips to match.

In the past 730 days with us, Anna has gained herself a very comfortable place in Ria's life . She is more than just her sister... I would call her a sponge, absorbing most of the otherwise frequent domestic confrontations. There is a personal level of restraint and control that each of us are bringing into our attitudes, actions and apprehensions just because of this tiny soul orbiting around us.

In every way, Anna has made Ria a better teacher and she is very receptive to what ever Ri says.. Well this little angel has her own moments of revolting and she can be a devil at that, with no reprieve what-so-ever. And yes Anna has her own way of expressing her displeasure too... "Aaara geela gilli gilli"( Sorry no translation available). The phrase is applicable to all instances of discontent... major or minor!

Talking of being a good teacher, it is Ria who taught Anna to say her name in full - Jia Ann Mathew... which Anna is very particular about as she prefers being called "Jia Anna Maathyu" with a quick nod of the head that makes her chin rest on her chest. Ria also taught her to count one, five and ten on her fingers.... When Ria starts one Anna automatically counts two... then there's three and Anna's four ... That's it... Five to ten is further Ria's responsibility!

I was happy for another bit of Ria's teaching skills. Preparing Anna for a normal response on her second birthday, she taught Anna to say TWO flashing out her two index fingers as the Umpire would happily call a six to Sachin's blast into the gallery. Having underwent teacher training myself, I would rate this exercise of Ri as a beautiful piece of sensory learning - coordinating sound, skill and imagery!  A full ten to her for planning that lesson so well and achieving her objective so creatively.

And as we were dressing for the dinner party, I thought it was the end of the demo for the day... Ri then proudly asked Anna to say how old is Amma... oh oh! that's me folks... Its not your guess that matters here, nor the one or two greys that Im concealing with the henna wash for my loooong hair every quarter... neither my Olay total effects that has been doing wonders for my skin...

The age-defying answer was pronounced by my two year old...and I was happy at the chweetest way Anna said it... Thirty Chicks!

Anna deserved a hug. And Ri, deserved two. Its nice to be thirty-chicks and a happy mother of two. Touch-wood!

Hide the truth

The one thing that opened my eyes wider than my normal owl specifics was the fact that Im round as round can be for a 5 ft 3" mother of two who wants to call herself hep and lively in blue denims and a pink FabIndia kurti.

Well its not the mirror mirror on the wall that disclosed this naked truth to me, though I look into it every day, but the medical camp I volunteered at yesterday. There was a sea of people. Children, mothers, elders and many in betweens. Ten doctors, a team of para medical staff and a few of us were the champions of the day.

Nope, there was no required dress code and I don't know what exactly prompted me to go pink and blue for the day! And honestly, I didn't feel round at the camp at all. Nor when Dr Minni, who I was meeting after quite a while, asked very sweetly if I had gained or lost weight. She was kind enough to leave that as a polite enquiry. How I'd term the upgrade in my specifics is from 2D to 3D!

Well im not surprised the boys made way for me only to move around comfortably. 'twas more to stay clear of a safety threat than out of respect or love, I presume. And to be crudely honest, for a better view of what the denims contained!

Oh! and I still didn't feel round even after the camp was done and we packed up for the day. Neither after a blissful night that passed by with the usual dinner fights and group hugs. Nor when my mirror winked have a nice day, this morning, as I let my dupatta romance my neck as Kajol has it in most of her movies!

Just an hour or two ago the pictures arrived and I was on the job to post a quick report in our corprate intralink.. When lo! behold ... that was me... Me ... round as round can be in snap three...

My pink kurta would have looked better if I had it on after one more month of hop, skip and jump on my terrace. My dear dear followers of the FabIndia signature, Im sorry I've tainted the beautiful cause for which the pink kurta was exquisitely crafted by some of the finest hands in India!

No regrets. Just a new lesson for the day. A new reason to go shopping and why I'd wish my dear dear Vidya, who is happily enjoying her new-mom status in London, was here with me.

Here's a plea... don't believe your mirrors. They don't always reflect the truth. Take a pic of yourself whenever you can and hang it on the wall. Look no further, that's you.  This and only this my dear friends, can help us do justice for what clothes are made for....To hide the truth!

Thank you SONY

Anna turns two on 11 October. I was just going through our album from day one of her life with us. She was tiny, all of just 3.5 kilos. So dependent on me. And now she is independent as far as freedom means to a two year old.

She walks. Talks. Calls me buddhu (must thank Sony for teaching her that!) and then corrects that to Amma. I like the way she picks out a book for Ria, who loves to read lying on the sofa; and  picks out one for herself too and cuddles up with Ri.

Centre-Point, Bahrain (May, 2009)

I've kept all her glossy, washable numbers and pictures books right where she can reach them. And bless her soul, she keeps them back neatly (Not always though!) after she has had enough imitating Ri.

Ri is oblivious to everything around her once she gets a book. She even forgets that the small one is near her. There were several near misses, when either I or Sony end up yelling and Ri startles out of her trance. I guess all of us were like that when we were kids.

We get used to multi-tasking and multi-thinking much much later. Not until we are in the teens, at least,  I guess. In any case I can't force Ri to be looking after her sis as well as enjoy her book at the same time. That's quite sinful of me. Come to think of it, how cruel of me to delegate my task of baby sitting on a poor soul who would rather be running after butterflies in the garden, but has been forced to be indoors because the mosquitoes would make a meal of her!

When Ri was two, I didn't think time would fly so soon and that she would laze in a couch like I do with a book and some pop corns. Anna turns two, in another fortnight. And zoom... time would fly again ... Weekends fly the fastest!!

I have fewer pictures of Ri than Anna, as I didn't have a sporty cell phone or digital camera to cache them into our digital albums. Thanks to the techy gadgets and my wee bit of training in online editing, I have my enviable collection of our memories just as Sony has his collection of stamps and currencies. He teaches them world history with those relics, while I poke fun at ourselves in the ridiculous shots I have crystallised forever with the camera Sudhi and Rema gifted us from Kuwait a few years back.

I've been clicking Anna's pics from day one in 2008. Every now and then is what I actually mean, as I'm so obsessed with capturing these moments that would never come back to me again. It's such fun looking back at them. Ri and I browse through the day's pics almost every night. The funny faces and the places.

Added here's one of us three that we took a while ago at a Lifestyle shop in Bahrain.

For these beautiful moments and many many others....
Thank you so much SONY (I meant the camera!)

My tiny Professors

I wish I knew most of what I know today nine years back. I know what it means when Jia stares at me after her meal. I know what it means when she tugs my t-shirt after a short while with her toys. I know what it means when she pretends to burp when she has just a spoon more of her porridge to finish.

I guess being a mother the first time is like graduating a University Course. And the second time round, you know exactly every rule of the game. And there is so much to share with the elder one who looks at me in awe and sometimes anger, as I do everything so comfortably for the small one.

Ria hates my lectures. But I tell her to keep a close watch as every detail that registers in her mind would help her when she becomes a mother!! Am I taking her too far? Not exactly.

I like being straight with Ria and she often complains as we tuck ourselves goodnight, " Ma, I love you, but sometimes you are very strict." After joking around a bit, I end up telling her I can't be a friend always and at some point of time I have to be a mother too. Maybe that's when I'm deemed strict.

Honestly, my little ones have been teaching me so much. Eventhough I yell at them for every second thing they do or don't do, there is this quick realisation that I'm no saint and that I could even be responsible for an unhealthy script. Oops, I'd rather give them opportunities to learn, unlearn and re-learn just as I am with each day of my life.

I'm so thankful to them for the tiny lessons each day. And the best part of each day is the group hug we share after our evening prayer. I want this picture of our family tradition to stick on in their minds. And the hugs would get bigger and stronger as days and years pass. Amen.

Thank you, my tiny Professors!

Psst....

Three years back, I had this crazy idea of quitting my job and joining my mother in Bahrain. I was excited by the HR Manager's offer that was neatly tucked in my brown leather bag and I felt those happy butterfiles inside my tummy just thinking of the fact that I'm all set to take off...

Until a really nice friend of mine came by, and said, wait, don't go yet! The time is not right and a lot of other reasons, one after the other which made me re-think and eventually I not just let go of the quit-my-job plans but I also had a baby, the second one...

Looking at things from my narrow perspective, I wanted to leave as i had a bitter fight with my Sony and then I was sick and tired of my attitude and the attitudes surrounding me. Nothing much has changed from that time and now. The fights continue and the attitudes are still doing the balancing act.

The cause for worry however is that Im stricken by the same old urge to disappear from my work-place. I want to fly off to a new place. I wonder how much my friend can bail me out of it this time...

Psst...does everyone have this feeling or is it just me?

Tom & Jerry

Life sure is funny. To me its like finding a way out each day. Just like Tom and Jerry. The cartoon duo celebrated their 70th year of togtherness recently. And they remain the world's favourite pair of friendly foes. I wonder if we guys will make it half that much in life, love or passion for outwitting each other.

I picture myself and my Sony exactly as Tom and Jerry. We are literally sharing space in our home only to find ways to throw the other out of it. And the truth is we just can't exist without each other.

Our latest object of contention is our little daughter, who turned a year and a half today. The argument is who does she look like? Even a blind guess points to Sony, but would I let go?! Never! She looks exactly like me i told him while washing her for a nappy change.

He pointed to the no-comments place and said, "Of-course, she looks exactly like you!"

I could only splash water and at a loss of words I went wblwblwblwblw wishing for a nice egg to plonk his face with just as Jerry would bombard on Tom!