Bleep... Ten C's

Im no Saint. Neither a fool-proof sinner. Just an ordinary soul who believes in the Ten Commandments to a convenient extent. But life these days has been  like a question paper ... more like a rapid fire session where I've to pick my choices or loose.

Of all the tenets in the Ten Commandments, I often failed to understand why it was said never to use Thy Lord's name in Vain... It has perplexed me all my 36 years on this planet. Starting of as a Hindu and then being reborn to embrace Christianity, Ive taken the Lord's name whenever I was in trouble, when I was happy, when I was disturbed, when I couldn't see through the dark, when I lost my way home and found it too, when I wanted to thank someone, when somebody thanked me... That was one name that found a place in my heart and on my lips as easily as the breath that keeps me live... Yes, HE was never empty to me. Yes, it was not in vain...

Not so recently I reaffirmed my belief in the fact that The Lord is a very sincere power up there that is looked upon by everyone as the definite source of infintism. He is transcendent, the eternal, the continuously present, the ever generous....Hey but HE is up in the sky... At office and home, we have such sources of infinite powers too. Not totally Gods, but semi seats of power and authority.

Ten Commandments

Translating the tenets to the more palpable home and office scenarios, let's just take a count of how many times we use the Boss's name as a sponge, shield or weapon. The very use of their names at the wrong times and the right ones, could open shut doors wider, can finish projects in no time and even create a rainfall in winter... Let's quit exaggerating.. But its true my friends, using the Boss's name or anybody else's name to hasten things up or to save face is a rude rude strategy to meet targets... There are million other ways to do it. And the best one I feel, is by being honest about our need.

I was hurt that a dear friend of mine outwitted me recently with this crude strategy. I love him no less. But it has brought me closer to my belief, Thou shalt not take the name of  The Lord, thy God in vain.

Thanks dear Moses for the Ten Commandments. Especially this third one!

Why is it piercing me?

I wanted to get out of office today as soon as  I got in. Something about last night was just not right. Don't ask me what, and it has nothing to do with what you think either!

My head was all tipsy as I was not myself all through the night. There was this loneliness suddenly creeping in. As if I seemed no where. I held on to my two angels sleeping comfortably on either sides... The ac was cool at 16 degrees and yes Sony was happily snoring, oblivious to the world war going on inside my skull! I almost felt a bullet pass right through... not one but many.

Eyes soggy from sleep, I opted for a cold shower to chill the brain this morning. The shower gel failed to inspire and the towel seemed used. No, Im not complaining about the moisturiser. It never felt more sticky! My golden yellow salwaar suit for the day couldn't brighten my spirits either... When the heart lacks lustre, I guess we turn colour blind and everything seems as boring as the morning you hate to go to work.

The clock just wasn't ticking any faster than 60 sec per minute. And I didnt like the regular calls that usually brightened my soul. I couldn't rest my finger on any one reason and say this is why Im angry at myself. I had many reasons. By five, it was Bye! An end to a horrible day in office, where I hardly spoke to anyone, completed every task mechanically and sulked around in my chair waiting for Sony to call.

My head was weary beyond definition and even Anna's sweet hello seemed a yell to me... But we had to pierce her ears today and we had an appointment at the doctor. When the door closed behind as they took her away from me, I sat alone again. Sony and Ria were definitely near me. But I felt absolutely abandoned.

Anna screached with pain. It was for the first ear. Trembling from head to toe, I couldnt complete my prayer. I just sprang up from the chair and stood stupidly trembling in front of the nursing cabin. I wanted to break the door open and get Anna back. And there she shouted for the second time not totally relieved of the first one, and that was it. Both her ears were pierced and she had sweet pearl ear studs on too... tears damped her soft cheeks.

My head stopped aching... It was overwhelmed with my Anna's pain. When I hugged her and she rested her head on my heart, there was a soothing balm that wiped off both our pains. The same relief I had when she came into the world after I laboured her out.

She looks sweet with her new earrings. But the pain is still piercing me.

Thirty chicks

Anna turned two yesterday. Well it hardly mattered at all to her. To us, the big three, it was different. So, Ri and me... each of us wanted to celebrate in our own way...

Ri took some chocolate wafers for her pals... Sony was smart enough to get the date ladoos from the world's best bakery, Jayabarathi Bakery in Thalasserry and I took my favourite Lebanese sweets which Amma sent us exclusively from Bahrain. To share with very close pals...

Anna hardly ate any of those stuff. But she liked her new musical toys ... a Barbie doll dressed like Paris Hilton singing in the most hilarious male voice 'meri shaadi karaade'! A green swing and a funny cow with hooplahs! She was also happy about the colourful dresses and the clips to match.

In the past 730 days with us, Anna has gained herself a very comfortable place in Ria's life . She is more than just her sister... I would call her a sponge, absorbing most of the otherwise frequent domestic confrontations. There is a personal level of restraint and control that each of us are bringing into our attitudes, actions and apprehensions just because of this tiny soul orbiting around us.

In every way, Anna has made Ria a better teacher and she is very receptive to what ever Ri says.. Well this little angel has her own moments of revolting and she can be a devil at that, with no reprieve what-so-ever. And yes Anna has her own way of expressing her displeasure too... "Aaara geela gilli gilli"( Sorry no translation available). The phrase is applicable to all instances of discontent... major or minor!

Talking of being a good teacher, it is Ria who taught Anna to say her name in full - Jia Ann Mathew... which Anna is very particular about as she prefers being called "Jia Anna Maathyu" with a quick nod of the head that makes her chin rest on her chest. Ria also taught her to count one, five and ten on her fingers.... When Ria starts one Anna automatically counts two... then there's three and Anna's four ... That's it... Five to ten is further Ria's responsibility!

I was happy for another bit of Ria's teaching skills. Preparing Anna for a normal response on her second birthday, she taught Anna to say TWO flashing out her two index fingers as the Umpire would happily call a six to Sachin's blast into the gallery. Having underwent teacher training myself, I would rate this exercise of Ri as a beautiful piece of sensory learning - coordinating sound, skill and imagery!  A full ten to her for planning that lesson so well and achieving her objective so creatively.

And as we were dressing for the dinner party, I thought it was the end of the demo for the day... Ri then proudly asked Anna to say how old is Amma... oh oh! that's me folks... Its not your guess that matters here, nor the one or two greys that Im concealing with the henna wash for my loooong hair every quarter... neither my Olay total effects that has been doing wonders for my skin...

The age-defying answer was pronounced by my two year old...and I was happy at the chweetest way Anna said it... Thirty Chicks!

Anna deserved a hug. And Ri, deserved two. Its nice to be thirty-chicks and a happy mother of two. Touch-wood!

Hide the truth

The one thing that opened my eyes wider than my normal owl specifics was the fact that Im round as round can be for a 5 ft 3" mother of two who wants to call herself hep and lively in blue denims and a pink FabIndia kurti.

Well its not the mirror mirror on the wall that disclosed this naked truth to me, though I look into it every day, but the medical camp I volunteered at yesterday. There was a sea of people. Children, mothers, elders and many in betweens. Ten doctors, a team of para medical staff and a few of us were the champions of the day.

Nope, there was no required dress code and I don't know what exactly prompted me to go pink and blue for the day! And honestly, I didn't feel round at the camp at all. Nor when Dr Minni, who I was meeting after quite a while, asked very sweetly if I had gained or lost weight. She was kind enough to leave that as a polite enquiry. How I'd term the upgrade in my specifics is from 2D to 3D!

Well im not surprised the boys made way for me only to move around comfortably. 'twas more to stay clear of a safety threat than out of respect or love, I presume. And to be crudely honest, for a better view of what the denims contained!

Oh! and I still didn't feel round even after the camp was done and we packed up for the day. Neither after a blissful night that passed by with the usual dinner fights and group hugs. Nor when my mirror winked have a nice day, this morning, as I let my dupatta romance my neck as Kajol has it in most of her movies!

Just an hour or two ago the pictures arrived and I was on the job to post a quick report in our corprate intralink.. When lo! behold ... that was me... Me ... round as round can be in snap three...

My pink kurta would have looked better if I had it on after one more month of hop, skip and jump on my terrace. My dear dear followers of the FabIndia signature, Im sorry I've tainted the beautiful cause for which the pink kurta was exquisitely crafted by some of the finest hands in India!

No regrets. Just a new lesson for the day. A new reason to go shopping and why I'd wish my dear dear Vidya, who is happily enjoying her new-mom status in London, was here with me.

Here's a plea... don't believe your mirrors. They don't always reflect the truth. Take a pic of yourself whenever you can and hang it on the wall. Look no further, that's you.  This and only this my dear friends, can help us do justice for what clothes are made for....To hide the truth!

Thank you SONY

Anna turns two on 11 October. I was just going through our album from day one of her life with us. She was tiny, all of just 3.5 kilos. So dependent on me. And now she is independent as far as freedom means to a two year old.

She walks. Talks. Calls me buddhu (must thank Sony for teaching her that!) and then corrects that to Amma. I like the way she picks out a book for Ria, who loves to read lying on the sofa; and  picks out one for herself too and cuddles up with Ri.

Centre-Point, Bahrain (May, 2009)

I've kept all her glossy, washable numbers and pictures books right where she can reach them. And bless her soul, she keeps them back neatly (Not always though!) after she has had enough imitating Ri.

Ri is oblivious to everything around her once she gets a book. She even forgets that the small one is near her. There were several near misses, when either I or Sony end up yelling and Ri startles out of her trance. I guess all of us were like that when we were kids.

We get used to multi-tasking and multi-thinking much much later. Not until we are in the teens, at least,  I guess. In any case I can't force Ri to be looking after her sis as well as enjoy her book at the same time. That's quite sinful of me. Come to think of it, how cruel of me to delegate my task of baby sitting on a poor soul who would rather be running after butterflies in the garden, but has been forced to be indoors because the mosquitoes would make a meal of her!

When Ri was two, I didn't think time would fly so soon and that she would laze in a couch like I do with a book and some pop corns. Anna turns two, in another fortnight. And zoom... time would fly again ... Weekends fly the fastest!!

I have fewer pictures of Ri than Anna, as I didn't have a sporty cell phone or digital camera to cache them into our digital albums. Thanks to the techy gadgets and my wee bit of training in online editing, I have my enviable collection of our memories just as Sony has his collection of stamps and currencies. He teaches them world history with those relics, while I poke fun at ourselves in the ridiculous shots I have crystallised forever with the camera Sudhi and Rema gifted us from Kuwait a few years back.

I've been clicking Anna's pics from day one in 2008. Every now and then is what I actually mean, as I'm so obsessed with capturing these moments that would never come back to me again. It's such fun looking back at them. Ri and I browse through the day's pics almost every night. The funny faces and the places.

Added here's one of us three that we took a while ago at a Lifestyle shop in Bahrain.

For these beautiful moments and many many others....
Thank you so much SONY (I meant the camera!)

shtyle!

In less than 20 minutes of posting myself on shytle.fm I received 18 requests for friendships. I have not replied to any, cause its humanly impossible to reply to requests as they flow in by the minute. And I really don't think anyone really does reply either.

It's amazing to actually feel the speed at which we can connect. Definitely something unthinkable during our grandparent's age. Probably I should confess, I'm at snail pace in the present zapp age!

In the Malayalam movie, Achuvinte Amma, which I have to play for my Jia at any one of her meal times everyday, there is this character Muthumma. She is the grand old mother in a huge Muslim house where all the ladies eagerly wait for their husbands to call from the Gulf. Muthumma tells Vanaja, her neighbour, of how her husband left for the Gulf long long ago in a boat and had to swim to the shore. It took two long years to hear from him while she waited in fear and prayer. And look at two generations down! We can fly to our loved ones when we desire, call, mail and even see each other at the snap of a finger she shared with awe.

I agree completely with Muthumma. The earth sure is spinning and taking everything with it too. Im party to this new connect which lives by the phrase no distance too long, no time too short. Yes we are 3G ready! 

Incidentally my friend who send me the invite link to this site was totally unaware he invited me at all. It was just a site promo that reached my inbox. In any case, happy to be inshtyle just for this learning lesson of instant connect. I was actually stricken by surprise, amazement and slowly fear as the friendship requests kept ticking. But then it is our choice to respond or not.

A majority of the mails from a majority of the males had the same question : Hey babe, wanna chat with me?!

My tiny Professors

I wish I knew most of what I know today nine years back. I know what it means when Jia stares at me after her meal. I know what it means when she tugs my t-shirt after a short while with her toys. I know what it means when she pretends to burp when she has just a spoon more of her porridge to finish.

I guess being a mother the first time is like graduating a University Course. And the second time round, you know exactly every rule of the game. And there is so much to share with the elder one who looks at me in awe and sometimes anger, as I do everything so comfortably for the small one.

Ria hates my lectures. But I tell her to keep a close watch as every detail that registers in her mind would help her when she becomes a mother!! Am I taking her too far? Not exactly.

I like being straight with Ria and she often complains as we tuck ourselves goodnight, " Ma, I love you, but sometimes you are very strict." After joking around a bit, I end up telling her I can't be a friend always and at some point of time I have to be a mother too. Maybe that's when I'm deemed strict.

Honestly, my little ones have been teaching me so much. Eventhough I yell at them for every second thing they do or don't do, there is this quick realisation that I'm no saint and that I could even be responsible for an unhealthy script. Oops, I'd rather give them opportunities to learn, unlearn and re-learn just as I am with each day of my life.

I'm so thankful to them for the tiny lessons each day. And the best part of each day is the group hug we share after our evening prayer. I want this picture of our family tradition to stick on in their minds. And the hugs would get bigger and stronger as days and years pass. Amen.

Thank you, my tiny Professors!

Psst....

Three years back, I had this crazy idea of quitting my job and joining my mother in Bahrain. I was excited by the HR Manager's offer that was neatly tucked in my brown leather bag and I felt those happy butterfiles inside my tummy just thinking of the fact that I'm all set to take off...

Until a really nice friend of mine came by, and said, wait, don't go yet! The time is not right and a lot of other reasons, one after the other which made me re-think and eventually I not just let go of the quit-my-job plans but I also had a baby, the second one...

Looking at things from my narrow perspective, I wanted to leave as i had a bitter fight with my Sony and then I was sick and tired of my attitude and the attitudes surrounding me. Nothing much has changed from that time and now. The fights continue and the attitudes are still doing the balancing act.

The cause for worry however is that Im stricken by the same old urge to disappear from my work-place. I want to fly off to a new place. I wonder how much my friend can bail me out of it this time...

Psst...does everyone have this feeling or is it just me?

Tara, Para... floor, flower pot

A very close friend of mine requested me to help her out with a challenge. What is it I asked? And how can I help? She smiled and said I want to use English the way I use Malayalam.

Now that surely is a challenge! A good one too!

As a person who takes extreme care in presenting her thoughts and one who is blessed with the choicest selection of words, Anjali seemed very humble placing a request to someone like me who actually admired her language skills in Malayalam. Well, to be very honest, I envy the way she stresses the syllables as beautifully as they are printed in the lexicon! I tell her that most often... and now its proclaimed here as well.

As any communication expert would implore, she yelled at me recently "Its my mind that speaks, not I and my mind knows to think only in Malayalam. I want to think in English. How do I do that?"

Oops... any answers? I pitched her into my English Club learning sites and she has picked up quite a lot already... But she prefers to relate her learning experiences to her mother tongue rather than Chinese, Russian and other languages... Ive promised to help from my experience in translating from Malayalam to English and  pacified her saying "Sure your mind can think in English. Its not translation of tara para into floor and flower pot that matters... Its the association of words, their position and the time or tense that matters ... as in any language. And its no rocket science either that can't be learnt."

For my Ajju, as I fondly call Anjali, I would like to share a few simple language learning tips to help her "think English" while she speaks English just as she "thinks Malayalam", when she speaks Malayalam. I know Im jumping into a hot pan of oil with absolute fire burning underneath... In any case, with all my love for her, I would like to begin with the world's most beloved statement.... I love you...

In Malayalam we say it as Njaan ninne snehikkunnu... A technical look at the sentence shows that the subject, object and verb are specifically positioned in the respective languages....

In English, its

• subject (I),
• followed by the verb (love)
• and finally the object (you)

where as in Malayalam it begins with

• subject (Njaan, that's I),
• followed by the object (ninne, that's you) and
• finally the verb (snehikkunnu, that's love)...

That's the secret. The myth. The Da Vinci Code! Catch that? SVO in English and SOV in Malayalam... Build your sentences on this. This is the first step my friend and the easiest way to learn... Just fall in love.. With your language, any language and wait patiently for more learning lessons....

My water tank flew away....

Monsoons have set in and my lawn is absolutely green. The pebbles along the walkway pose a striking contrast to the brick tiles and the green of the grass. Every leaf and blade of grass exude how happy they are to be drenched in the rain.. And I love the rain drops sliding into my balcony from the arching palm leaves... The weaver bird's nest is a spectacle to behold. Its interesting how the rain runs down the fibrous wall of the nest without penetrating and how mirculously it leaves the inners cosy and warm...

And from my friend's tenth floor apartment, there is nothing more divine than the heavenly drops dancing on the grey backwaters of Kochi...That's from the tenth floor, please!

Ground reality??? The last 12 years in Kochi has been a revelation of what exactly not to do during the rains. Most importantly, stay away from the City! And sadly, but true, no amount of pampering civic bodies, cajoling peolple's representatives or threatening the very essence of the political system can bring any change to the roads that invariably transform itself into muddy, filthy rivers during the ugly monsoons in the city. The seasonal epidemic outbursts are another fright to chill the spine... Well these are the dark sides of the beautiful rain that lashes left, right and centre of Kerala... the one element in the natural supplies calendar that singularly charts the GDP of the state!

This year the water works in God's own Country arrived a week after schools opened for the fresh academic year as efficiently forecast by the MET.

Well, I don'tknow if it was Laila or Katrina that came with a bang day before yesterday. Neither did I check the soaked newspaper for details on Sunday... While we were discussing what the huge thud could likely be, my neighbour from the opposite building rang up to disclose the fact that the twirling frenzy had carried with it one of the blue sintex water tanks from my terrace to the terrace next door... Thank God, none of us were out at that time and thank God, it rested on the terrace without wanting to fly any further...

Another monsoon lesson, keep the water tanks full!

Puttu kadala

Saturdays are for puttu and kadala. Ria loves puttu and kadala and specially the ones Ammaamma makes.

Ammamma is her nanny who has been with us from the day Ri came into this world, 10 March 2001. A nice woman, who today knows what each of us like to eat, when we are angry or sad, when we need space and when we prefer her company. Best of all, she makes really nice sambhar, fish curry and stew.

She finds our home a home as she spends most of her wake up time with us. It was she who taught Ria how to pray and my little Ji to wish elders in the Christian way... Eso kodukku .. (folding hands and seek blessings from elders).

She discovered a million ways to feed Ria fish and chicken when she was developing her eating habits as a kid. And she introduced the morning breakfast regime of porridge from home, snacks like idli, puri or chappathy for tiffin break at school, full rice meal with omellete (riiz favourite) when back from school and special breakfast on Saturday. Riiz choice Puttu and kadala and sunday, masala dosa!

The morning whiff from the kitchen says puttu and kadala is ready... Come on let's wake up for another beautiful day in Kerala!

A..E..I..O...U

Im not an authority on emotional intelligence or anything to do about it yet. But I believe when we learn from life, its best shared in the right spirit. Let me see, how best can I put this across from the little that I know?

Yes, let's take it from the basics of language... English for instance....We cannot do without the vowels ....

A, E, I, O, U .... we need one or more of them in every word to form a word.

And in life we just cannot do without Attitude, Emotional Intelligence, Optimism and Understanding. These are the vowels, the a e i o u of  life, if I could put it that way. And all of these in the right measure, makes us near perfect!

And if we remember what our Holy Books tell us, life doesn't happen just once. The very letters that make the word LIFE remind us that Life Is For Ever. I strongly believe that we may make our exit from this world some day or the other, but we live through our children, in others' memories, in what we live for, what we die for and what we care for the most...

Im shaking up myself for a nice bit of change as Im absolutely in love with life.... Frankly with over three decades on this planet, its about time I got the abc's of my life straight. And I definitely know the letters that will come in handy are A E I O U.. Check it out!

Boothnath, Ria and me

I was watching this very sweet Sunday kid's movie with Ria - Boothnath. We were seeing it together for the third time.... Its about a grandpa ghost, Amitabh Bachan, trying to save his home which used to be the centre of happiness till his son walked out, angry at his adamant father. The grandpa ghost tries to scare a little boy who comes to live there with his mother but eventually befriends the little rascal who alone could see Boothnath, the spirit that had been haunting that house for the past decade or so. Well, talking to spirits is not quite acceptable in normal parlance and time would have it that Boothnath had to leave... Now the real son had to do the last rites for Boothnath's salvation... But that son was angry to the core as his father would not forgive him and he could never forgive his father!

Now now, let me get to the end of it all than run the entire movie here...

There is this very deep statement that Sharukh Khan, who enacts the role of the little rascal's dad, says to Boothnath's son who is waiting to sell the bunglow and erase all trace of his now dead father... Kabhi kabhi kuch kaam adhoora reh jaata hai... Sometimes some things remain incomplete, he says leaving it to us to understand what he leaves unsaid and his pleading eyes convey... that all of us would, sooner or later, repent when we have not done what we really could....

It was this profusely loaded statement that brings the son back to the pooja arranged for his father's atma's mukti or salvation by people who was in no way related to them other than the genuine bonding between the little boy and the grandpa ghost. As the music in that part of the movie expressed, alas its all too late! Neither could the son see his now dead dad nor could the father console the now grieving and repenting son...A tearful prayer eventually frees the soul...

Just look at that emotion...anger... Passed down from father to son....A peircing emotion that kept two souls away from each other not just for a few years... but forever!

Each time I look back from this movie, it pricks me hard. I had this emotion playing villain in my life several times. What I silenlty learnt, as the tears ran down my cheek and I saw my Ria sobbing just like me, is that children feel in the absolute same way as we do. Why, we were once children, weren't we? We never liked to be shouted at. Then what right do we have to shout at them, leave alone boss them, demand from them?

Im sure you will agree with me that we all live just once. As a child, a mother, a sister, a brother, a friend, a lover, a winner, a loser, a nobody or just somebody. But we live.... Oops! Am I confusing?

Emotionally me

Sometimes they say things happen because they have to happen and it cannot but happen! Im a believer and I must say I believe that everything that happens is only, and always only, for the good.


There is this book that I'm reading. Its on emotional intelligence, by the man who gave the world a better picture of the mind, Daniel Goleman. Im just a few chapters through his voluminous explanation of what thinking, seeing, feeling, loving, fighting, sharing, caring, enjoying, laughing, hurting, and all other gerunds you can think of... I'm stuck to it.

Im no psychologist. And the least I know of human nature is that one can think and act, be good or bad, be sane or insane and be kind or cruel. Well that neatly sums up what we generally do and don't do... But now Im happy Im reading this book. Im happier I have my friend Shiny who gave me this book.

Honestly, had I read this book four to five years back I would not have jumped into several complex situations that Im struggling to pull myself out from right now. But Im sure I slowly will. Its not the power of the book that I'm to believe, but the fact that it portrays that WE CAN when we know that there is nothing more sincere to us than OUR EMOTIONS. And these emotions are nothing but tiny triggers that make us what we are.

Understanding our emotions is the challenge. The sooner we do it, the better. That's what I feel. Lest we pass on unwanted elements to our children and blame it on everything else but us. I asked myself, if I can trigger a change in my life now, why not now? Why wait till I have no breath remaining in me? Well that could be any minute for that matter. Now... in 2012 or even in 2034!

Manha

Guess what colour we selected to paint our nails with? Manha! Yes a sparkling canary yellow. Seemed very funny while we saw it standing next to the different other similar colours. There was a nice apple green, a shocking electric blue and a rather strange colour neither purple nor violet. Im happy this store didn't have many of the glittering ones!

Our mission was to get a colour to paint our nails to break the boredom of clean fresh ones Ria had to stick to for lessons on cleanliness. Well she got bored stiff with my lectures and finally I had to get her a bottle of nail polish, because all her friends had remanants of some fancy colours on their nails.

I opted for green as it looked earthy. Ri preffered the yellow. Seems out of the world to me, a little Martian kind! But after three days with it, it seems pretty acceptable. Isn't that a cosmic law?

In any case it was not a bad buy at all. We painted first on Riz (please read that as reeeez) toe nails, which seemed quite OK and then her finger nails, which seemed "Hey, kinda coool!"

The best part of this buy was that Anna , my smaller one, learnt to say Manha, (Yellow, in Malayalam).(Pronounced : ma'nha - like the sound of 'ng' in orange) Energised with that revelation, we painted all her tiny nails and she went about saying manha, manha... Nice way to learn!!!

Show her a dry leaf now and she chweetly chirps Manha!

Back from Dr Sunil's Eye World

Ria is extremely happy now that her eyes are clear and she is  ready for school. Dr Sunil has prescribed only two eye drops for the wee bit of redness to leave her eyes.

We were advised to go in for the eye correction during the summer vacations as it would give Ria more time to relax and refresh her eye. The sequence therefore was school closing on 31 March, Surgery on 8th April and now all set for a new academic year after a neat month and a half!

Ria's case was not as complicated as the many cases Dr Sunil showed us from his research album. It was interesting that he made a collection of the pre and post conditions of most of his patients in image formats. He explained why the eyes were behaving in peculiar fashions and the different remedies too. Educated and trained with Gold Medals at Mumbai University and further at Glasgow, UK and Cambridge, Dr Sunil was the first surgeon to perform a live demonstration of no-injection key hole cataract surgery here in Kerala in 1999. A thorough learner and a good teacher, he has started an academy for optometry that provides various Diploma Courses recognized by the NCVTE.

His passion for teaching is evident in the way he explains everything in detail. The precision care recommended for eyes and everything to do about it, is palpable when he explains.We would have one more review post two weeks of school,  as Dr Sunil would like to see how Ria's eyes are accomodating to long distance attention to blackboards.

After the four weeks rest with minimum TV, no books and no extreme lights, Ria's eyes are better now. She can now happily play on my mobile while I drive her up and down to all her happy destinations. One of which we are just back from; Dr Sunil's EyeWorld, Making vision Perfect.

Sr Florentia says...

Having spent a lot of my growing up time in a Boarding House run by Sisters, we were introduced to Please and Thank you at a very young age. “Please and Thank you are very powerful words,” Sr Florentia used to say. “It will take you to God and all those to whom you say it will follow you to Him,” she used to say with her beautiful round eyes shining on her beautiful round face. I often remember her and how we laughed at her stories.

And, now as a mother, I say the same to my daughter, and she laughs like how I used to. Well, it might take her many years to understand the depth of what is being communicated. But I’m sure she will pass it on to her children.

From my training as a teacher, and my life as a daughter, I have realised that there are many things that we pass on to children knowingly and unknowingly. The most important of these, I feel, is how we talk. Children invariably take after us. That’s nature’s choice. But what we want them to learn from us is our choice.

So as providers of food, clothes, shelter, education, safety and security to children, we parents have a huge role. Topping that list is as providers of good communicating habits. As shared by child experts, parent-child communication is one of the most important protective factors against risky behavior in children and further, risky behaviour in adults. No matter how old they are,  talking with children is one of the most important things we can do to help them grow up as confident and secure individuals. Unless we communicate properly, we can’t get things done properly.

We can thus see that talking is a skill. "Something that classifies us as human beings," Sr Florentia used to say. Therefore shall we presume talking good is an art? Something that characterizes any person as a success!

Recently I grabbed an opportunity of sharing my views on Developing skills that can take us far on an invitation from a radio channel. My thanks to Mr PM Edwin Michael, the Programme Executive of All India Radio (Thrissur) for inviting me and for sharing the audio file.

Would now love to share this here, especially because, today is the International Family Day and there is a lot that we can give and take from one another in the family. Please click the green tab below to listen to my radio talk.

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Tintu mon

Representing the Kerala cadre of humour at its heights, is Tintu Mon... The very mention of his name would spread a natural smile across all who know this very popular name by now. Well he stars in every joke site, online, on mobile and off line sourced from malayalee hearts.

No wonder he is hailed as the Malayalee or regional incarnation of Sardarji with an extra rib to tickle... A recent sample in line with the Kasab's verdict, is of how the Judge passed one on Tintu Mon.

" Tintu Mon, you will be hung to death at 4.00 am tomorrow" to which Tintu Mon gleefully replied, "No problem Sir, I know that won't happen as I usually wake up only at 6".

Shared here are some more forwarded by my friend Ashok:

TEACHER : Tintumon, go to the map and find North America.
TINTUMON: Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : TINTUMON!


TEACHER : Why are you late, Tintumon?
TINTUMON : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
TINTUMON : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


TEACHER: Tintumon, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
TINTUMON : You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER : Tintumon, how do you spell "crocodile?"
TINTUMON : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
TINTUMON : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


TEACHER : Tintumon, what is the chemical formula for water?
TINTUMON : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
TINTUMON : Yesterday you said it's H to O!


TEACHER : Tintumon, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
TINTUMON : Me!


TEACHER : Tintumon, why do you always get so dirty?
TINTUMON : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINTUMON: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


TEACHER: Tintumon, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
TINTUMON : A teacher.

Speechless? Then smile.

I love to see smiles. I like smiling a lot too. Laughing aloud that is. As kids we could cry and laugh so easily. With age, we don't know if we should cry first or smile or smile first and then cry at given situations. To make matters worse, we hardly smile.

Often Im maddened at the way my kids smile and laugh so happily. So easily. The way they hide their fear or guilt behind a sweet smile. And how sinfully stupid I am to shout at them just because I feel its not funny. But looking at things from their perspective, life would just be another episode from Alice in Wonderland when we demand respect, denounce trivialities and pronounce every possible restriction to every possible situation. And grown ups are grown ups when we say its all in the name of safety and security or shall we say taming the wild with etiquettes thats right?

I tell you we grown-ups have to take a walk down the childhood alley more often. I mean, there are so many things that we can smile off. So many worries that we need not even bother about. So many tales that are better left under the carpet than bragged about over breakfast, lunch or dinner, on the way to office, on the daily trip to the grocer or any possible moment of togetherness. What's wrong with us? Why can't we just leave the past behind with a smile?

I really really think a smile can save many things at once...

Recently I had attended a workshop ... An interplay workshop where we had the opportunity to laugh and laugh and laugh in the most hilarious way oblivious of the surroundings we were in and we really laughed and laughed and laughed till tears rolled out! Its amazing the way laughter can cleanse the soul and leave us feeling so light...I hadn't laughed all that much since ages. Honestly, I wonder if I ever laughed that much at all...

What I did realize that day was that, each of us have some kind of energy in us that is seeking every moment to find a way out to manifest into what I dare call God's Will. But what we do while this energy awaits freedom of expression is stiffle it off with ever so many irrelevant reasons that we call duties and priorities. We have the answers to most of our problems. But we hardly give ourselves the time to think about it.

My friend Ajith is a jolly good person with a famously loud laugh! Its as warm as his soul and as infectious as the mirth he spreads around during coffee-breaks at office. He loves travelling. I wonder what would be the answers to what he means from questions like do you like watching the drop of rain that knows it has to fall down from the leaf but still clings on to it only to let the morning sun shine through it ? Have you ever stopped to hear the sound of silence? Have you ever laughed out till you could laugh no more? And on days when salary days are yet a long wait away, the bloke hits a serious note with are the naked truths of life alive, glaring and grinning at you?!

Powerful images in every question. My answer, a smile.

Ria's sun-glasses

When Ria, my nine year old was just six months, we spotted that her eyes were squinting. Both of them, like black marbles in a white pool of jelly. I noticed them particularly when she looked up as she drank from me.

We first thought all kids' eyes were like wobbly jelly. Soon we realized that No its kind of not okay. Consulting the doctor he confirmed that she was definitely squinting in both eyes and we would have to wait longer for her to respond to digital vision tests. All the doctor could do was peer into her eyes with hand held devices while she squirmed in my arms, all of just 2 or 3 kilos at six months.

Ria was terribly underweight. Her premature arrival into this world could have been one of the reasons for her eye muscles to have weekend whilst she came out of me naturally, in a hurry to be more precise.

However, she picked up like a normal kid soon and when she turned three we took a chance on ayurveda for strenghthening her muscles as all others advised correction surgery which we were not ready for on such a tiny soul.

The three week courses every six months at Sreedhareeyam, an eye research institute at Koothattukalam in Kerala, was very effective. The right one turned almost normal and the left one seemed to be cooperating too.

Now, at nine, we took her to Dr Sunil's Eye World in Kalamasserry, Ernakulam for her correction surgery. In less than an hour on the 9th of April, she was gifted with a normally oriented left eye. "Thanks for fixing my eyes," she told the doctor and team that worked on her as they tapped her back to consciousness.

A fortnight more, the sutures in her eye would be gone and the redness in her eye would leave too. Ria is recouping from her surgery behind a pair of smart pink rimmed sun glasses and three different eye drops and her dear friend Arya who drops in to chat and read for her every once in a while.

What she liked best was the funny machines and the green gowned people in the operation theatre and the lights around her till she dozed off and forgot all about it. She didn't like the pricking of her tiny arms for intra-venus support and no she didnt like them clipping of her long eye lashes.

A book worm that Ria is, she will have to give reading a short break. She can however watch TV from a safe distance. She can eat, drink and be merry too, everything under the protection of her smart pink rimmed sun glasses to keep away dust and harsh lights.

After the next two months of summer holidays, my little princess would be sporting a fine new look to school and life. Good luck to my little princess!

Tom & Jerry

Life sure is funny. To me its like finding a way out each day. Just like Tom and Jerry. The cartoon duo celebrated their 70th year of togtherness recently. And they remain the world's favourite pair of friendly foes. I wonder if we guys will make it half that much in life, love or passion for outwitting each other.

I picture myself and my Sony exactly as Tom and Jerry. We are literally sharing space in our home only to find ways to throw the other out of it. And the truth is we just can't exist without each other.

Our latest object of contention is our little daughter, who turned a year and a half today. The argument is who does she look like? Even a blind guess points to Sony, but would I let go?! Never! She looks exactly like me i told him while washing her for a nappy change.

He pointed to the no-comments place and said, "Of-course, she looks exactly like you!"

I could only splash water and at a loss of words I went wblwblwblwblw wishing for a nice egg to plonk his face with just as Jerry would bombard on Tom!